At the beginning of December of 2012, an activist from Ohio by the name of Lauren Michelle Kinsey messaged me on my Facebook page after watching me on a Huffington Post Live episode on bisexuality. A blogger for HuffPost herself, she presented me with a proposal – a co-blogging project that paired one monogamous bisexual woman in a same-sex relationship (Lauren) with one monogamous bisexual woman in an opposite-sex relationship (me) to answer pressing issues around the topic of bisexuality.
I was absolutely thrilled with this idea and, after a couple of phone conversations and email threads, Bi the Bi: Two Bi Writers on Big Bi Issues was born!
Our first post tackled the question, “Should bisexual people in the United States who are in opposite-sex relationships forgo marriage until all people have the right to marry the person they love?” I personally struggle with this one, so I thought it would be a great way to start off our series.
We followed that up with our second post, answering the question, “Are closeted bisexuals the main reason for bisexual invisibility?” We garnered 179 comments on this entry, as some people were upset by the implication that the question itself was victim blaming in some ways. That was not the intention of the post, however, which we tried to get across to our readers.
Our third post answered the question, “Does ‘bisexual’ imply that there are only two genders?” This is a huge myth surrounding bisexuality, that the “bi” represents a gender binary of two genders — male and female. We dispel this myth, explaining that, if anything, the bi binary is between having the capacity to be attracted to those who are the same as us and those who are different from us — which is all-inclusive of every sex and gender expression.
The fourth post was submitted by Rachel Gold, author of the book Being Emily: “Is bisexuality about being attracted to more meaningful aspects of a person than what gender they are?” Here we used bisexual activist Robyn Ochs’s quote about some bisexuals being attracted to masculinity or femininity in multiple genders, while other bisexuals are essentially “gender blind” as our jumping off point.
Post number five tackled the quandary, “Why would someone not want to identify as bisexual?” In this post we focused on the many negative and false stereotypes that go along with bisexuality.
Our sixth post was about the reverse side of the fifth: “Why would someone want to identify as bisexual?” From visibility and the education of others to community and a sense of personal pride, we discussed the reasons why a bisexual person would want to identify with the term.
Last night our seventh post was published, answering the question, “Why disclose your bisexuality when it hurts a partner?” This question came from a reader who evidently has had negative experiences surrounding the coming out of bisexuals later on in a relationship. We dispel the myth that coming out to a partner is negative and provide resources to help those dealing with such a situation.