My Vagina Monologue

In honor of women’s rights in the U.S. and their continued protection and expansion, I am posting my own Vagina Monologue (thank you Eve Ensler!) that I wrote back in college:

My Vagina is schizophrenic. She doesn’t know whether to be hairy or bare. She has a flowing mane of kinky, auburn hair that she felt proud of… until she was told she might be sexier without it. She wants her hair or her nudity to be her decision. She wants to feel empowered by that decision. But my Vagina is schizophrenic and has trouble choosing.

My Vagina is schizophrenic. She doesn’t know if it should feel pleased or unfulfilled. She doesn’t know enough to know what she wants, or who she wants it from. She wants to please herself, but sometimes she’s too tired, or she doesn’t feel deserving. She wants to feel pleased on her own, but she doesn’t always feel comfortable doing so. My Vagina is schizophrenic and wants to understand whether she is displeased or content with her discontent.


My Vagina is schizophrenic. She doesn’t know if she should feel beautiful or lacking. She wonders how she measures up to other vaginas. Sometimes she feels beautiful when she doesn’t worry about comparisons…but other times she feels like she might be strange or abnormal.  Sometimes she has image problems. Her feelings about her appearance vary day-to-day. She wonders if she should seek counseling. My Vagina is schizophrenic and wants to figure out whether she is pretty or not, on her own (and she’s pulling for pretty).


My Vagina is schizophrenic. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever be accepted as is, or will have to conform to another’s standards. She does her best to stand on her own, uncaring of what others say or do or think…but, sometimes, she is insecure. She is holding out for a partner who will accept her unconditionally, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t worry that that partner doesn’t actually exist. My Vagina is schizophrenic and is sometimes deeply concerned about how she is perceived.


My Vagina is schizophrenic. She feels strong and weak at the same time. She has come a long way through childhood, puberty and adolescence.  She knows she has become the vagina she is now through many tests and takes power from that knowledge…but she also doubts herself. ‘What if my strength is gone?’ she thinks. ‘What if my weakness takes over?’ she worries. My Vagina is schizophrenic and cannot see herself as tough without agonizing over being overcome by weakness.

My Vagina is schizophrenic. She is confused by the messages she takes in from all around her.  She doesn’t know how to look or feel at any given moment. My Vagina, however, is intelligent. She knows right from wrong. She is compassionate. She is loving. She is trying to justify her thoughts with herself. She knows that she can count on herself over anyone else. It is her decision whether to be hairy or bare.  She can fulfill herself and tell herself, ‘I am beautiful.’ She can accept herself, faults and all. And all of these thoughts and actions add up to her unwavering strength, no matter what has happened before, no matter what may come in the future.

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